I give my breakfast a brave look.
You know bread, I will be productive today,
you milk – don’t judge me I am trying my best!
It has been months since he left. I painted the walls green and blue, a horrible idea.
I bought new cushions for the sofa. They are fluffy and help when I need an emergency hug.
I miss his smell and his laziness. The way his eyes narrow when he smiles.
He is handsome and adorable somewhere else, where a girl compliments his beard in her head.
I don’t like the girl.
I bought a goldfish and placed it under the big cat sticker on the wall.
I am playing with irony, I have too much time to think.
I miss how he pokes me every morning to wake me up and then squeezes me until it becomes unbearable.
When he calls, comes to visit, I am a hero.
I don’t cry, I enjoy his visits and wave until I lose the bus out of sight.
He compliments my strength, I faintly understand what it means to be strong.
I hug a bear that smells like him.
But I don’t tell him these things at once and in detail.
When he asks me how I am, I tell him all this but comprised in the line – I miss you.
I hear him breathing to the phone, answering with I miss you too.
By the time he replies I have put my phone beside me and I weep.
I collect myself quickly and say: “Well, soon.”
“Soon.” – he replies.
Our song plays on the radio, as I watch the wind move the curtains.
I need new curtains and a new window.
The link to my shop collection, please pay a visit! Hopefully buy something 😀
For more info about it read my post Hello.
He is loosing ground.
I ask him to be strong,
but what does that even mean?
To harden your wary old shield
from the very same thing?
I tell him go, leave all
he says no,
let us build something
I look to the spot he shows to me
all I see is our families in tears
we must let them there.
To grow we need a second way.
My shop collection, for more info check my post Hello
In a trial I fight slow, I turn left right is a no.
I see lines being colored by time, not by the brush I call mine
I see dust and I swipe it off, it turned to crust
My skin under is untouched.
I want life, not boredom
death is boredom too
If you believe in a life beyond death
you you will have to wait your quest
But if you live only for this
what is the point what is the quiz?
You gather you gather you hold dear
you avoid, hide, isolate
only to see death as if nothing was done by thee
If nothing is what awaits me
or Heaven or Hell at the end
I will act the same,
and I will toil to be happy
no other purpose is ahead of me.
P.S the link to my shop collection: http://gotclicks2.com/KCFK95FAb
I am rarely addressing people due my not so straightforward personality but this time i will make an exception.
My name is Sabina and I write. I live in a country where you have to make opportunities for yourself. Not a lot is offered from the government as it is corrupt and what not.
So I started my own small business I named Introvert’s corner.
To sum it up – I am a SFI affiliate, i market items from a site called TripleClicks and I gain commission from every item purchased from the link I have provided for you.
It is more like a hobby for enhancing my skills and it is fun. Whether I will be able to profit depends on lot of things. By the way if you want to join SFI there is a banner at the footer of my blog so you are free to inform yourself more about it and join.
So, now I am asking you for help 🙂 I will provide a link of items I chose to be in my shop. I made sure they are not expensive and that the shipping is free. For starters I included mugs, reading lamps, various decorative items and cushions.
If you are interested to buy something it will really make my day(s) !
If not, I will ask you to share my shop with your friends or even on your blog if you feel generous today :D.
If not, I appreciate you reading this to the end.
Have a nice day!
P.S If you have requests for items or suggestions or even critiques feel free to share them with me 🙂
The Link: http://gotclicks2.com/KCFK95FAb Thank You!
Meet me on my way up,
see me smile and my hair long
you wish to see me as you want
but I am here to sing my own song
You do not like my drawings
I doodle my life away
I waste my talents only you see
on things that all hate
I did break my pencil
I did break my brush
I hurried to be a someone
But for that I need no rush
Oh dad you see I am a no one!
How cannot you see, how nothingness
weaves wings for me!
I fly I fall, it is human
I left upon my wants for your wishes
Now endure how I leave thee.
It makes me giggle when I remember my hostility towards love, tenderness, kisses.
A grumpy girl throwing rocks at love birds, chasing Cupid far from her.
I did not hate the concept of love, I hated the fact that it was not meant for me. I did not get it as much as I wanted from my family. Later, this awful period in school stripped me of love as if I was Satan in person.
Then high school came. People respected me because they feared me. I gained some friends but I never saw them staying with me for this long.
Nobody hugged me, nobody kissed me. They would say they love me but words are dry and weak.
Then came college. Those boring lectures and him staring at me.
I made my “do not mess with me” face expression.
He did not even try.
I knew I had to work for things to get them. If you want a nice conversation give a smile, work for a pleasant atmosphere.
If you want someone to like you, be comfortable with who you are. If you are angry, disappointed, lonely, happy, satisfied do not show with words. Words are dry and idle.
Show it with how you treat a person, how you respond to questions the way you trust people. Be genuine.
This is indeed a way to go.
I hide myself under his beard and imagine a sky full of stars shining upon us.
I thank God a million times for not letting him give up on me.
He keeps saying that it was nothing, he was never scared, he just saw a girl in need for love.
Not a monster. I am not a monster. I do love. I am able to love.
I giggle at my past. Goodbye Neverland, you never existed.
Slowly I am becoming what I always wanted to be. Now I am facing the fear of being the ideal self I envisioned. Dreams and wishes feel different while in womb of your mind. The moment they become a human that stepped out of her comfort skin and that speaks out – I feel beyond naked. I feel loneliness and I only hear my own steps. Still I have never felt more comfort until this journey.
I travel trough a street known so well.
And think of the darkness I’m caring around,
You see, silence is not a FUCKING SOUND.
It’s shelter and serenity, a step to divinity
The street lights pierce new holes inside,
luring the Inward to come out.
“Come”, says the light caressing my cheek,
lingering around my neck as a noose around the sinner.
I am not willing to contemplate
I am not willing to plead.
The gloominess and dimmed rooms,
I linger in
are hallow I swear.
Not a single color for daylight to share.
Illuminate the dust, dust is what it will be.
There is no candle I have not tried to light,
but what I’ve thought to be a view
is a fucking deceiving sight.
Let me sleep while walls hum my lullaby,
I find peace only in my own rhyme.
Let me walk.
Do not talk.
A sip of water in my dry mouth
And a caress of wind against my cheek bone
I’m here to stand still
With a face of love
And a paralyzed body
To shoo away crows
Oh Heaven how I tremble from them.
I am as well air.
Pretty is my desire
And vanity I’m streaming in.
All my existence.