via Daily Prompt: Missing
I asked him several times did he need something more than we had and he denied it every single time.
I saw him yesterday trough my car window holding hands with some woman, not resembling me.
I couldn’t stop starring at the mirror since. My face was so numb and pale. Like the life was sucked out of me and it was given away. I imagine death as vanishing, complete destruction but now, right now, I did not feel dead. I was separated with my soul and I was left with my empty skin. Like a snake that sheds her skin and leaves it wherever.
I was not thinking about him, I have been convinced that I will love again, smile again and feel again. It is far from being emotionally destructive and pessimistic for my future.
I am ugly.
That is all I can think of.
And I cant tell mom, my sisters or anyone I love that I am ugly. They will look at my face and think for a second. Then they will holler no, you are not ugly.
Yes I am.
I remember my father saying that to my face. You are ugly. You are skinny.
And with Johnny, I forgot that. He kept telling me that I was pretty.
But now there is no Johnny. Johnny tells some other woman that she is pretty.
Now I miss my pretty face in the mirror. I miss my features, I miss my youth.
Dad said that I am ugly, hated my pictures and my smile.
Dad hates my bony wrists and my funny walk.
Johnny said he was in love.
Fuck you Johnny.
And F you dad.