On my way home

I sit calmly on the bus seat I always take and get enormously angry when it has been already taken. Sometimes I wonder if the person knows how much I resent his heist. And him as well. I cannot recall the view through that window for I barely looked through it. But my eyes were fixed somewhere between million worlds framed inside this dirty bus window.

-Are you Sabina?

-Yes?! The fuck?!!!

-Do not swear you are a well behaving girl.

-I swear when I am scared.

-You are afraid of your own mind?

-Did it give birth to you?

-Yes. I do not have shape yet, nor a name but I am indeed, yours.

-What causes this?

-Your weakness.

-What kills it?

-Your temper.

-When will it stop?

-When you begin.

-This bus is too yellow. It bothers my senses. My grasp on the phone is too strong my fingers ache. I wish for a man to immediately enter and cast a seductive look while shouting my name, so I can look the other way feeling untouchable. I need him to hug me and plant safety in my rotted heart water it and fight for me the devils I hold for angels are not a company for me. Be my angel my man stiff and stubborn in the battle between me and you. Take the sword out of the rock of fear and defeat my arrogance. Just as that moment touches the hands of time I will fall in claws of love which kills. Devours. Bleed into me I will bleed into you.But I need you to appear now!

-You ask the impossible.

-So I do. And it is my desire whether you like it or not.

The driver starts the engine we are taking off. Without my man.

Thank you for being there. I must now narrow my eyes to focus on this world. People expect it. People are afraid of dreamers for we never wake up or fall asleep.

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